World Trade Center Tragedy - Eyewitnessed by Kim D. Abramson

Updated as available from Lower Manhattan, New York City, USA

Permission is granted to copy, forward or quote with attribution in whole or in part

Please feel free to send comments to Kim.

11:30 a.m., Tuesday, September 18, 2001

NOTE: Our web site is growing …. By about 2 p.m. today, we will have uploaded approximately 20 video clips of the World Trade Center attack. Over time, we will post photographs and other related information: <http://wtc.vjs.org/wtc/>.

Happy Anniversary. Today marks one week since we were awakened so abruptly by the first plane crashing into Tower 1 of the World Trade Center. So much can happen in a week.

I need to get back to New York. I know that my being here in Maryland is helpful to my parents, but it's not for me. My mind and heart are back there, and I miss the resolve of the people in the city. Here, I have found two camps: those who cannot tear themselves away from the endless television updates, and those who don’t seem to know that anything happened -- or who are pretending so.

The difference in New York is that it is so real, so near, every second of the day, that the only way to deal with the fear is not with more fear, but with defiance. An attitude of getting back to as close to normal as possible, while maintaining a quiet respect for the tragedy.

My parents have been wonderful, but too wonderful. They want to make me as comfortable as a queen would be, but in some odd way, I don't want to be that comfortable. They want to feed me every delicious thing they can cook or purchase, but I don't want to eat. My friends want me to call, to talk, but I don't yet know what to say. I hope that both my family and friends understand that by rejecting their generosity, I'm not rejecting them.

I was disappointed today, too; I called the Red Cross donation center -- where would we be without the Red Cross? -- and was told that walk-ins might be accepted. But when I arrived at the donation center, it was closed. Closed! I don't understand …. The Red Cross does such a magnificent job of helping those in need, but today, I felt let down.

I finally got in touch with the last of my New York friends that I was terrified to call, and I got great news: she and her husband, who both work within a few blocks of the World Trade Center, are okay. They're thinking about moving out of the city for the first time in their lives, but they can't really imagine doing that. She wants to get together for lunch. To talk. To move on. To see that we're both really okay.

Reality is settling in for everyone. The adrenaline rush has ended, and now comes the day-to-day living with tragedy and uncertainty for the future. Most of us, thankfully, have never had to deal with anything like it. Personally, the worst tragedies I've experienced have been an armed robbery, deaths of loved ones, and a couple of frightening forced landings while piloting or co-piloting small airplanes. Those pale to ice-white in comparison to this. But we don't really have the experience to know how to cope with it. I've found that I am short-tempered with those who can't break away from the television, and angry with people who seem to be ignoring the events. I want to get back to a normal life, but I can't stop thinking about what I've witnessed. When my parents coddle me, I get upset because I can deal with this. But when I'm alone, I want someone to tell me that everything's okay.

They have re-opened my apartment building in New York, but not many people are rushing back. Some friends who have describe the situation as "grim and depressing" and are considering leaving for a just a little while longer. Yet the news focuses on the Wall Streeters who are returning to work today. Just a few blocks over from Wall Street, though …..

-Kim